2. We give labels of different levels of pain and different levels of pleasure and those levels we called values
3. We learn in life to take different words that we called emotions and give them level of importance = to value different emotions with different levels of intensity
4. Hierarchy of importance = values that are guiding our every day focus (values that cause pleasure or pain)
2 types of values
Moving towards values Moving away from values
States create pleasure States that we try to avoid
5. Valuing experiences = is this going to leave pleasure or pain according to your levels of importance
6. If you know the person’s value (main focus) you can predict his overall the basic direction of his life
7. If we change the importance of values that will change the priority in one’s life, his personality, behavior, destiny, the way hi evaluate everything
8. Our life is shaped by what we want most, but also what we fear most
What is most important to you?
- Person’s present value- What do you want most in life
- What are the things he is trying to avoid
- What ate the triggers cause someone to feel good or bad
- What are the rules he has for these values
- Design life’s purpose = what is most important to you
- Make new values that will pull you towards your goals, purpose
9. Sometimes values pull us apart, they are in conflict and we sabotage ourselves = the Gary Hart syndrome
10. Power of understanding your values and using them (Why? – to know the focus of your brain)
11. Key:
To know what they are by asking:
Moving towards values:
What is most important to me in .......... (life, career, etc.)
Moving away from values:
What are the values you try to avoid?
NB: Family is MEANS value (you don’t need family, but the state you will have by having one – love, security, closeness, spiritual connection ….)- Values to an end
We need to understand END values
12. Where did the values come on the first place? - as a result of mismatch of a human experience, they come out of pain and pleasure
13. Who you are around on a consistent basis shape your values
14. Value is the target, but knowing that you hit the target – that is based on your beliefs
15. Belief – generalization you have made of what have to happen for you to experience a certain result in your life
16. We make rules ..”if ….then …” within yourself
17. We may have same values but different rules what has to happen for those things to be met
18. You cannot lose motivation if you feel too successful, you lose it if you are too comfortable
19. You have to enjoy the process not just ger5tting in the “place”
20. Every state, all the values that you want, you can have right now
21. All the emotions are physiological storms in the brain
2 types of beliefs
I. Global (giant generalizations that you have made for your life in the form of:
“Life is …………….”
“People are …………..”
“I am …………………….”
II. Rules
“If ……then ……….”
“If you love me, then do this”
22. The belief you have determine the question you ask
23. Everyone has his own rules
24. Change some of your core beliefs, adopt new ones
25. Distinguish is power
Today’s assignment:
1. What is most important to me in my life? (Ends values, not family, money, etc, but what state they give you). Rate them from 1 to 10
2. What are the emotions I’d do almost anything to avoid? Rate from 1 to 10
3. What has to happen to feel ……. (values in question 1 and 2)
