1. The secret is not never to feel negative emotions (it is not real), it is not about positive thinking or denial, it is about the power of using your emotions as an action signals
2. Every emotion you feel in your life is call to action
3. No one wants money, relationship, food, etc, we want to feel better, we want to change the way we feel, to change the emotional content in our life in that moment
4. Most painful emotions (according to our consideration) may be our best friend-they are signal that we have to make changes and if we hear them and utilize them we can change the quality of our experience in life immediately
5. Emotions are an ultimate power, the can make us even ill or healthy
6. Emotions are the core to case action and change life
How you deal with your emotions right now?
I. Avoid them : try not to feel, but we can never avoid completely negative emotions, they are part of life and causes to grow
II. Denial : never change their internal conversation, never change their internal focus or physiology, they keep feeling like hack, but they pretend that it is not there → the more you do not listen to your signals, the more intense they get
III. Competition: you feel bad, let me show you how worse I feel
IV. Learn from emotions and utilize them
Where the emotions come from?
7. Why you feel loved? – Because someone touches you? It is because you chose to fe3el this way, you allow yourself to have those sensations, you have rules (when A,B,C happen the I feel loved) and when they occur, you in your own body create those sensations
8. Emotions are created from what you chose to focus on, by the meaning you attach to any experience in life
9. What you feel is not based on the experience but on our interpretation of this experience, the way we represent it
SPELL “REPRESENT” {RI PRISENT} – SOMETHING HAPPEN AND YOU TAKE IT INTO YOUR 5 SENSES AND MAKE RE – PRESENTATION (ANOTHER PRESENTATION) OF IT IN YOUR HEAD
10. These are no negative emotions, every emotion serves us as long as we interpret it in a way that is has a powerful meaning in your life
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Ex: 1. Think of something that you want in the future and HOPE it will occur!
2. Think of this thing but EXPECT it to happen!
How does it feel? Do you feel the difference?
Difference: Hope – two possibilities (working out or not working out), passiveness;
Expectation – one possibility and movement you sense
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11. Minute ago you EXPECT something that will happen for sure, without any external interference, so you are in control because you chose to expect
12. Nothing in the environment controls you
Why we have emotions?
13. Negative emotions are signs that change is needed
14. The sign of fear is you must prepare (to deal with or cope with) instead of avoiding
15. The way to make an emotion to serve you is to realize that every emotion has a message for you
Do 6 things:
I. What the emotion is?
II. Acknowledge and appreciate the message it is offering you
III. Get incredibly curious about what it’s offering you – how to use it to make your life better
IV. Get yourself to feel reassured by seeing that you’ve worked this in the past
V. Feel certain that you can handle anything like it in the future by rehearsing using the emotion as a tool of empowerment
VI. Take action and change your own life
10 types/categories of emotions:
16. We have different labels what a feeling means
I. Uncomfortable emotions – don’t have a tremendous amount of intensity
II. Emotions of fear
III. Hurt – sense of loss
IV. Anger
V. Frustration- held back
VI. Disappointment
VII. Guilt (regret)
VIII. Inadequacy – feel less than
IX. Overloaded – more than you can handle
X. Loneliness
Master your emotion
1st step: Identify the signal-define in which category the feeling goes to (most fits)
Negative emotions are ACTION SIGNALS – signals for you to take actions, to revaluate the way you are preceding something or the way you are preceding
Uncomfortable feeling message:
1. Change your state – you are not resourceful of understanding what things really mean
2. Clarify what you want
3. Take action – communicate your desire or do something that expresses it and do it till you archive what you want and you are no more uncomfortable
Hurt feeling message:
1. Expectation that you have is not met/ sense of loss
2. Change your procedure or your perception, the way I am communicating this person, the way I am behaving, or the way I look at things
Anger feeling message:
1. You have standard for your life, something that is important that is not met by another person or by you
2. Change your procedure or your perception, the way I am communicating this person, the way I am behaving, or the way I look at things
17. If you feel pain,
• you have to change the way you are looking at things therefore what they mean to you
• change the way you are communicating your desires and needs to others
• or to change the way you behave, treat others and that will give you a new respond
18. The essential of all messages – you have to set a new outcome, new direction otherwise you will stay in pain
19. If you ignore a message/ action signal that signal does not go away, it is intensify until you change: 1. Communication; 2. Behavior; 3. Looking at things
2nd step: Appreciate the message; respect the emotion and change: 1. Communication; 2. Behavior; 3. looking at things; revaluate the way you are preceding something or the way you are preceding
Messages:
I. Uncomfortable feeling message:
• Change your state – you are not resourceful of understanding what things really mean
• Clarify what you want
• Take action – communicate your desire or do something that expresses it and do it till you archive what you want and you are no more uncomfortable
II. Fear feeling message:
• We need to prepare for something to deal with or to avoid the negative consequences
III. Hurt feeling message:
• Expectation that you have is not met/ sense of loss
• Change your procedure or your perception, the way I am communicating this person, the way I am behaving, or the way I look at things
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The more intensive the feeling is the more we surrender to the emotion than get the message
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IV. Anger feeling message:
• You have standard for your life, something that is important that is not met by another person or by you OR a lot of hurt that is not expressed
• Change your procedure or your perception, the way I am communicating this person, the way I am behaving, or the way I look at things
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What we get angry with; we will get angry for the rest of your life, so identify those things and understand hat those are your standards/ rules
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V. Frustration feeling message:
• Change your approach for achieving your goal otherwise you get the same result by doing one and the same
VI. Disappointment feeling message:
• Need to realize that the expectation that you have, the outcome you are going after is not probably happen unless you change your expectation and make it more appropriate for the situation (time, people, etc.)
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God’s delay it’s not God denial!
Lag time: need seasons to grow a plant
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VII. Guilt/ regret feeling message:
• You violate one of your standards and you must know something immediately to ensure that you are not violating it again
VIII. Inadequacy
• You need to do something to become better right away
IX. Overloaded/ Overwhelmed/ Depressed/ Hopeless feeling message:
• What is the most important to you?
• Put in order of priorities
• Take the first on the list and do something about it
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Self-esteem grows when you do something to take control of events
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X. Lonely feeling message:
• Need connection with people/ love to be with people
• What kind of connection
• Take action by 1. Communication; 2. Behavior; 3. Looking at things
3rd step: Get curious
4 questions to get curious:
1. What do I want to feel
2. What I have to believe to feel this way
3. What I am going to do to handle this right now in order the feel the way I want
4. That is great about this, what I’ve learn from this
4th step: Get confident
5th step: get certain
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Ex: rehearse several ways in your mind to deal with certain emotion
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6th step: Take action
20. The best way to get what you want is to experience it, to focus on, to plant it
10 quick emotions to plant every day – seed of greatness – juice of life
- Love and warmth
- Appreciative and grateful
- Curiosity
- Excited and passion
- Determination
- Flexibility
- Confidence
- Be cheerful – tell your face to be happy
- Feeling healthy
- Sense o contribution
“Man is truly great when he acts from his passion” – Benjamin Disraely
21. Passion turn everything that is a challenge into tremendous possibility
22. Our brain cannot make the difference between something we vividly imagine and something we actually experience
23. Every feeling you have (good or bad) is not based on actual reality of life rat5her on you interpretation of what things mean
24. Whenever you start to feel bad ask this one question: what else this could mean?
